Haiti Documentry

This video documentary is what is going on in Haiti.  Please take time and look at the pictures that this photographer took.  It is getting better in Haiti, but the children especially need help.  I would hate to hear of a young child dying just trying to get food. Things are getting back to normal their, but they are still in need of help and support.  If I had the money I would love to go over their and see what I could do to help, all I can do is donate money at this time and pray that the money is really going to help these people.

May their souls and minds be at peace, and their harts be full of love.

Surrogacy option

If you are a single man, or a gay man or couples, or a any couple looking to a legitimate surrogacy agency here are two that I have have meeting with. The first is Circle Surrogacy, LTD. out of Boston, MA. They are a very hands on agency and they give you a lot of information and choices in having a child of your own. Here is a link to their website if you need more information. Circle Surrogacy. They have a lot of information on their site, and they also work with the SPAR program for HIV+ clients. They have great follow up and a excellent at getting back to you with any questions our concerns you may have.


The next agency is Growing Generations, they may seem like they don't have as many choices as Circle Surrogacy, but they are a premier agency out of Los Angeles, CA. They are the first agency that have worked with HIV+ men using the SPAR program. They are also rumored to have been the agency that Sarah Jessica Parker used to have her twins. Their website is Growing Generations. They work with single males/females, gay couples and gay males, and any couples looking to use surrogacy to have children.


If you are a man that is HIV+ and want to know more information about the SPAR program their website is SPAR.


Lastly, If you have ever seen the TLC show called the Little Couple They had a consultation with an agency called Center for Surrogate Parenting, Inc. They are very hands on and from what I saw on they show very thorough. I have not meet with this agency, but I have received information from them. Their website is Center for Surrogate Parenting, Inc. They send you a CD explaining their services and procedures.


If you are looking for a agency, and they do not ask meet you face to face, DO NOT go to that agency. If they ask you for any money up front, that is a red flag. My advice is that, if this is a choice that you want to choose, please do your research. This is a hard journey that you will be embarking on, and investing a lot of money so please do your research and good luck on your journey the results will be amazing.

Iraqi Reporter Killed

The war over in Iraq is just a since less war, with innocent people dieing everyday.  I fill like peace is needed all over the world.  This journalist should not have died, and seeing that he was alive and then "finished off" by the American forces angers me.  We should bring home the soldiers in Iraq and end this war before more innocent people die.  War is not the answer to solve any of the worlds problem, only through peace.  My heart goes out to this family for losing a son, brother, and  a journalist trying to show the devastation that goes on over in this country.  We all need to learn to love one another an live our life as peaceful people.


I know that their have also been countless American killed over in Iraq and my heart also goes out to them and their family.  know is the time to write our congress and tell them to stop this war and bring the troops home, before more innocent people and soldiers die.

Had a Great Day

My peaceful soul has been tested today.  I was told at work that I have been taking to much time off. Something I did not realize because I just didn't realize it. Then my partner was laid off, so now we have to go on my insurance, something I did not want because I am the benefits administrator on my job and our benefits are not that great.  But instead of worrying about all these thing, I just set back and pray, meditate, and know that everything will be alright.


I have also come to the revelation that what I do for a living is not what I want to do. I want to help people in some sort of way, be it as a therapist, or helping childless couples have a child.  This is why I have decided that I want to go back to school and get my MSW in clinical social work.  Although I have worked in the business field for many years, I feel that I am being called to do something more,and that would be to help others.  I know that every thing is going to turn out fine for me and my partner, and all our hopes and dream will come true.  Losing his job is a blessing in disguise, because now whatever we want to do we can do as long as we know that we are just spiritual being having a human experience.  
So you may ask, since all this has happened why say had a great day. Because all my days are great, I am alive, I have my health, I am loved, and my family is happy.  So even though my day was tested, I will always keep my soul at peace.


Peace and Blessing

Being who I am

What does it mean to be a black Cuban that can't speak Spanish? Most other Cuban's feel that you are just a black man.  I am proud to be Cuban, (yes I am a mixture of Haitian, Cuban, and Dominican, but I am mostly Cuban). I would love to learn Spanish, but it does not stop me from being proud of my heritage. What about being a gay Cuban?  I know a lot of Caribbeans are hugely  homophobic, but I cannot change who I am.  Being a gay man, and a Christian is just who I am. I feel that I am loved by God and the that will never change.  I hope that I don't get a lot of hate mail because I believe that God made me the person that I am today.  If it had not been for the Lord in my heart I would not have been able to get through all the tough times that I have had to go through in my life.  This post is going to be very short but this is just me for the first time in my life being honest with myself and with others of the person that I am.


Peace and Blessings

Learning to Thrive through tragic Times.

In my life I have  lived with a lot of death and devastation, I lost my best friend from HIV, my beloved grandmother, and my two children all in the same year. The most traumatic for me was the death of my children.  I was 14 when my son was born and 16 when my daughter was born, so needless to say I was very young and unprepared to be a father. My ex fiancée and I stayed together until we were 19 or 20 and our children went to live with her sister in NY after we split  This was decided by Maria my ex and not by me. My dream was to some day get them back with me when I got settled in my life. I have never really talked to anyone about how they died and what really happened to them.  Yet today April 1 would have been my son's birthday and I am feeling that it would be therapeutic to actually talk about their death. 


 My daughter was born with one lung and we had to make sure that she did not get a lot of colds or a severe flu or infection, or something  like pneumonia. When she was 10 she in fact did get pneumonia while living with her aunt who did not take her to the hospital in time, and she from pneumonia. I did not find out about my daughter's death until after the funeral. I do know that the last person she asked for was me, my son told me this, he said she kept saying were is my daddy why hasn't someone called my daddy. But their aunt told her that your daddy in in MI and you are not sick enough for me to call him.  My daughter, who was a very intelligent young lady and a straight A student that wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer. So she knew that she wanted to see her father, because she knew how sick she really was. That night before she died, her aunt told me that she said tell daddy I love him, and I forgive him for not being here.  I am still not clear on why I was not told of her death until after the the funeral, but I have an idea that Maria had something to do with this.   


My son and daughter were very close and he was very upset with me and his mother for not coming to her funeral. He called his mother who told him that she gave them up years ago and not to call her anymore. That is not really exactly what she said, she actually told him to never to call him again and he was not her son anymore. After that conversation he called me and was extremely upset and asked me if I felt the same. I told him of course not, and that I loved both him and his sister.  He said, and I quote, "If you fuckin loved me your sorry ass wouldn't have left us."  I tried to explain to him the situation, but he wasn't gong to hear it.  He felt rejected by his mother, and he felt like we both abandoned him and his sister. While I was trying to calm him down, my twelve year old son screamed FUCK YOU and  took a gun and shot himself while he was on the phone with me, he dies instantly.  I have been dealing with this for years now, and today he would have been 26 and my daughter would have been 24 last month. I think about them every day, and I think still have nightmares about that day 


Through the years I have had failed relationships, struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, and sex addiction.  I felt like their was a void left in my life when they died. I felt like if I could only have another child everything would be better. Yet, after a lot of soul searching I learned that replacing my children was not the answer.  I first had to learn how to respect and love myself again.  A lot of people has asked me  how to you get up a be so happy everyday after everything that has happened to you in life. I tell them if it had not been for my  faith, the smile you see on my face  everyday would nit be their.My faith got through depression, and thoughts of suicide.  I have learned how to get my soul at peace,  my mind calm, and my heart filled with love. I now love  someone unconditionally, and that someone is me. I still would love to be a father again, but if it never happens I will still be a happy man, and live my life with the person that I love.  My soul is at peace, and my heart is full of love, and I pray that this this story helps someone who may be going though a tough time.  Below is a short poem on how I know live my life.


Peace and Love
All That I am
All that I have to give
With Drips of 
Peace for you soul
Love in your heart and 
Inspiration for your mind


Let me say lastly that I pray everyday, and I am not a religious man, but a spiritual man who lives by the saying "We are all spiritual beings having a human experience." So whatever you are going though know that this to shall pass.




Peace and Blessings

Haiti and Chile

Being 1/4 Haitian I am sadden over the devastation that has happened in Haiti. Please pledge what you can to .. I thank you for any support and please pray for the people of Haiti ,Chile, Cuba, and China. Click here to go to the American Red Cross.

Adopted and found Father

I was adopted at age 2 or three, my biological mother found me when I was 30,(was a shock since I never knew I was adopted until then) and I meet my biological family. (they are Cuban and Dominican). So I really was curious about my biological father, since my father and I did not have a good relationship. So I asked my biological mother about him, which went nowhere at all since she was still in love with the man, but he broke her heart. So I went to my biological aunt, who gave me the lowdown on him. I found out he was Haitian and Cuban, and a big player. When I was born he was married with 4 children, and my birth mother was only 16 (he was 25). He has a total of 12 kids all around the Dominican Republic and Haiti, and had no interest in meeting me. So I found one of my "sisters" who had no interest in meeting me either. My birth aunt told me that he had passed away of diabetes in 2008. So I found my father, and as the old song goes, "Papa was a rolling stone." 
Since then, my birth mother died of a drug over dose, her mother died from a heart attack (she was not very liked by the family) and  my grandfather died from a stroke. Of all of them I  became very close to my birth grandfather Juan Carlos Segura. When I lived with him in New York for a while to get to know him very well, and he never judged me he only showed me unconditional love. In my life I never felt that type of love from anyone not my mother, not my father, only from the person up above. I miss him a lot and that is why I have made his name part of mine. So in my search for a father I did find a father figure in my birth grandfather, and a good friend in my birth aunt. I am so blessed that they found me.